Saying I'm Sorry.
I made it a personal goal a few years ago that I wasn't going to say 'I'm sorry' unless I actually meant it and didn't intend on repeating my offense. Why did I make this goal? I kept noticing people around me who would say that they were sorry 5 million times in one day. It was horribly annoying, and I couldn't believe that I was one of them.
So, having lived by that goal for these few years, people who say 'I'm sorry' redundantly have naturally begun to get on my nerves. For example, the person who bumps against you in a crowded place, like a concert. Don't say 'I'm sorry', say 'Excuse me'. That's what the phrase 'Excuse me' is for, not just for when you want to warn the surrounding area that you just farted. You're asking to be excused from your behavior--there's no telling if you'll do it again, though. Saying 'I'm sorry' means that you're apologizing for your behavior and plan to amend it to make it less annoying in the future (HINT: you could definitely say 'I'm sorry' for saying 'I'm sorry'...but that means you have to quit. Now.).
Proper usages of the offending phrase: "I'm sorry I stole your cat. It bites real hard." "I'm sorry I ate that burrito. I'm going to be on the toilet for hours tonight." "I'm sorry I bumped into you. Here's some deodorant and perfume to cover up that ruminating funk."
Get the idea? Ok. Now, go out into the world and start using 'I'm sorry' properly, or I will hunt you down and spider monkey your ass. And I won't be sorry. Your choice.
So, having lived by that goal for these few years, people who say 'I'm sorry' redundantly have naturally begun to get on my nerves. For example, the person who bumps against you in a crowded place, like a concert. Don't say 'I'm sorry', say 'Excuse me'. That's what the phrase 'Excuse me' is for, not just for when you want to warn the surrounding area that you just farted. You're asking to be excused from your behavior--there's no telling if you'll do it again, though. Saying 'I'm sorry' means that you're apologizing for your behavior and plan to amend it to make it less annoying in the future (HINT: you could definitely say 'I'm sorry' for saying 'I'm sorry'...but that means you have to quit. Now.).
Proper usages of the offending phrase: "I'm sorry I stole your cat. It bites real hard." "I'm sorry I ate that burrito. I'm going to be on the toilet for hours tonight." "I'm sorry I bumped into you. Here's some deodorant and perfume to cover up that ruminating funk."
Get the idea? Ok. Now, go out into the world and start using 'I'm sorry' properly, or I will hunt you down and spider monkey your ass. And I won't be sorry. Your choice.
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