You're somewhere out there.

I spent the weekend having fun in Utah and sleeping in strange beds, so I thought I would be tired once I got home from this excursion. I just lay down to sleep but found myself unable to simply close my eyes and drift. This weekend, I went to a lot of places that Robert and I had gone as a couple. I was reminded of him a lot this weekend. I think that triggered something in me. I don't know what. Maybe a past insecurity, or perhaps the security of having a fiance.
This brought attention to my mind the thing that I'm missing in my life right now. I've gained confidence in myself. I feel I've found myself better than ever before in my life. I'm facing my fears. I'm being honest. I'm loving everybody. But the problem is I'm not loving somebody in particular. I don't know who that person is supposed to be. I suppose I haven't met him yet. But I know that he is the sore spot on my heart, right now.
I'm having one of those moments where I feel like I'm reaching and I'm so close, but I'm blind-folded and therefore don't know what I'm reaching for. It's a confusing and frustrating moment in my life. I look around me and wonder if I'm looking at him. I don't obsess over it like some girls. I just look around with curiosity. I look around with wonder. Is it odd of me to feel like I'll know it when I see it? Because this is my current theory.