le Futur
I spent a lot of today (Saturday, not Sunday) alone, so I had a lot of time to think. These days, I have way too much time to think. Too much time to panic and stress. And what do I stress about? My future.
I have this vision in my head of how things ought to go directly after graduation. This involves me spending my fall semester earning money and job seeking before throwing myself into some random large city where I find a place and start a life. I have this dark, nasty feeling that keeps creeping up that I'll end up in my parents' house after graduation, though.
Allow me to illustrate how I feel about landing back in my parents' place after having not lived there for about 6 years: just lay down on a bed and have someone try their hardest to smother you with one of your own pillows. Yep. Not at all interested in being thrown back into a world where I'm 18-year-old Dinny again and Mommy dearest is ruler over all. And the boredom of Theodosia, MO is worse. Hell, I'll do the smothering myself, if I end up living with my parents.
So, I want to ask: other than sheer determination and strength of character (and compromising of personal morals), how does one survive in the world outside of Idaho/Utah without monetary parental assistance? Impossible? If so, I'm going to end up smothered.
But, then, there's the fear that I won't be able to find a job. It seems like every time I try to find one, they always expect beaucoup experience. Hello, I've been in freaking college the past five and a half years! How am I supposed to have gained experience?! That's what I'm coming to you for, dammit!
And, then, it doesn't help that every time I think of my future (AKA January of 2012), all I see are big, inaccessible dollar signs. Strangers' hands reaching out to me expectantly with an empty wallet and bank account on my end. And I'm freaking starving. I want a brownie.
I have this vision in my head of how things ought to go directly after graduation. This involves me spending my fall semester earning money and job seeking before throwing myself into some random large city where I find a place and start a life. I have this dark, nasty feeling that keeps creeping up that I'll end up in my parents' house after graduation, though.
Allow me to illustrate how I feel about landing back in my parents' place after having not lived there for about 6 years: just lay down on a bed and have someone try their hardest to smother you with one of your own pillows. Yep. Not at all interested in being thrown back into a world where I'm 18-year-old Dinny again and Mommy dearest is ruler over all. And the boredom of Theodosia, MO is worse. Hell, I'll do the smothering myself, if I end up living with my parents.
So, I want to ask: other than sheer determination and strength of character (and compromising of personal morals), how does one survive in the world outside of Idaho/Utah without monetary parental assistance? Impossible? If so, I'm going to end up smothered.
But, then, there's the fear that I won't be able to find a job. It seems like every time I try to find one, they always expect beaucoup experience. Hello, I've been in freaking college the past five and a half years! How am I supposed to have gained experience?! That's what I'm coming to you for, dammit!
And, then, it doesn't help that every time I think of my future (AKA January of 2012), all I see are big, inaccessible dollar signs. Strangers' hands reaching out to me expectantly with an empty wallet and bank account on my end. And I'm freaking starving. I want a brownie.
Ever think about the USAF? With your degree, you might be able to start out as a junior grade officer. There's worse places to start out. Just a thought.
ReplyDeleteIt is a challenge. I remember having similar feelings, at 23, when my own USAF hitch was up.
Sorry...Unca Rick? I don't want to go into the military at all. Although, if I were to do so, it would be the Air Force, as you've suggested. I'm half thinking about going to a cosmetology school or something--if I can't find something right away.
ReplyDelete