Fear.

I own this book that I try to read as constantly as I can because it's helped me see life much differently. It's called The Four Agreements. This book truly is a God-send to any college student (or any person, really) who may be questioning the world or is just scared.
Toward the end of the book, there's a little piece about fear and how it controls your happiness. I hadn't thought too much of this portion of the book before. Last time, I wasn't scared to death of the world around me, or at least I didn't realize that I was scared. The other day, I was listing my fears and trying to decide which ones to face first. I chose to face my biggest fear--hit it head on, since it's facing me right now. This fear is the fear of lacking money.
I'm always scared to death that I'm going to run out of money and not be able to take care of myself. I guess that's something my dad pounded into my head over and over during my childhood. Symptoms pointing to my freaking out over money: I'm disgruntled and grumpy all the time, stressed as hell, constantly looking for the job that is just beyond reach, and slightly considering random, stay-at-home jobs that would most likely screw me over first chance they get. Yep, I'm there.
I'm trying to face it, this time, though. I'm trying to look money straight in the face and scream, "I don't need you to be happy!" It's hard, though. There have been many times in the day when I feel the murky waters of doubt and fear rise above my chest and threaten to drown me. I am determined to prevail, though. I need to, if happiness is what I desire. I will not let money get me down again.