If I kissed you where it's sore...

Every now and then, I think back to what it was like to be with Robert and remember how well we were together. They're good memories--slightly painful. I remember how good of friends we were and how well we meshed as a couple. At the same time, I have a feeling at the pit of my stomach telling me what I did was correct. It's a bitter-sweet feeling, realizing I was in such a good relationship, but also knowing it had to die. I don't think I'll ever be able to fully put into words the full explanation on why I broke off our engagement.
All I really know is that sometimes, I wish I could tell him things, but then I remember how much I hurt him; and I stop myself from doing so. Sometimes--I admit--I check up on him to see what he's up to and how he's doing; and I find myself proud at what he's becoming. But I know that I would never want to be in a romantic relationship with him ever again.
This blog is confusing and incriminating; but I guess what I'm trying to get across is that it's normal to think back to the days that I was dating the man I once considered marrying and think of those times with a smile on my face. But it's completely unhealthy to think back on them and realize I want him back--which is the exact opposite of what I'm saying. I'm saying: I'm thinking of him, I'm over him, and I miss him.
That is all.