Diamond Ring Stuck on Her Finger.
I love the movie He's Just Not That Into You. I agree with most things that are said in it--most things, except what's said about the spark. I disagree for the most part, though. I don't believe there's a spark upon the first meeting; but I do believe that the spark exists.
The spark is what caused me to break up with my fiance. It's called not feeling actual true love with the person you should be feeling that towards. I realized tonight that the spark doesn't come until months--maybe even years--of knowing the person and understanding who they are. The spark is that small but powerful assurance that this truly is the person you belong with.
I also made a similar realization about putting myself out there. I've been slightly hesitant since the break up about being hopeful in any romantic endeavor I've been on. I didn't think it would be hard to simply move on to the next victim; but it really is. On one hand, I'm too cynical to think that I could simply dive into the next relationship; but on the other hand, I realized that I'm going to have to suck it up and put my heart on my sleeve if I ever hope to find love.
But then there's also that delicate balance of being excited and being absurd. It's so hard for me to be excited about a man without feeling a certain degree of school-girl absurdity. For example, I've been talking to this guy I met on campus for a few days, now. I met him, through my sister's coaxing, for the last couple of nights and I like him quite a bit. Every time I see him, I get excited that I'm spending time with him; but at the same time, my cynical side is belting out how stupid of a girl I'm being. Which side should I listen to? I'm not good at happy mediums...
The spark is what caused me to break up with my fiance. It's called not feeling actual true love with the person you should be feeling that towards. I realized tonight that the spark doesn't come until months--maybe even years--of knowing the person and understanding who they are. The spark is that small but powerful assurance that this truly is the person you belong with.
I also made a similar realization about putting myself out there. I've been slightly hesitant since the break up about being hopeful in any romantic endeavor I've been on. I didn't think it would be hard to simply move on to the next victim; but it really is. On one hand, I'm too cynical to think that I could simply dive into the next relationship; but on the other hand, I realized that I'm going to have to suck it up and put my heart on my sleeve if I ever hope to find love.
But then there's also that delicate balance of being excited and being absurd. It's so hard for me to be excited about a man without feeling a certain degree of school-girl absurdity. For example, I've been talking to this guy I met on campus for a few days, now. I met him, through my sister's coaxing, for the last couple of nights and I like him quite a bit. Every time I see him, I get excited that I'm spending time with him; but at the same time, my cynical side is belting out how stupid of a girl I'm being. Which side should I listen to? I'm not good at happy mediums...
Listen to the side that feels right. Overthinking these things can be dangerous business. =P
ReplyDeleteWe have a funny way of growing from each and every meaningful relationship/connection we experience in life, even if things end badly of don't work out. Just means it wasn't meant to be. That deep this-is-who-I-have-to-spend-my-life-with spark you mention is out there... You'll find it, just go with the flow & enjoy the ride.. =)
People who take more risks end up doing some much more with their lives. I don't know if this has anything to do with your post but screw it, get outta your shell and take a chance.
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