Chronicles of Being a Confused Mormon. Vol. 1
Today, I felt a piece of truth in church--a part of reassurance that maybe this really is the true church. In the LDS faith, we believe that everyone is called by God of certain duties within their congregation. Through these callings, we find both personal revelation (how to improve ourselves and our callings) and revelation for those we are over.
Today, my relief society president taught me that there are still people truly called of God in this church--she is one of them. I don't completely remember much of what was said through her tears, but I do remember feeling the unconditional love that is said to be given to those in these callings. I realized that through God, this early 20's girl was able to see us all for what and who we are--daughters of God--and sincerely cared about each of us. How did I know this? First of all, she was crying as her first councilor bore her testimony to us before the president even got up to speak with us. Second of all, there was a stirring in my heart that was different than what I have felt in quite a while--something confirming to me that this woman is here by God and through God is willing to take me in to feel her love.
And what's sad is, I was afraid to admit this in relief society because if I had, I would have cried like my more-sensitive sister. This withholding made me realize that there may be something missing in me that I need to change. I need to be more accepting and open to the smaller, more precious things in life. I need to listen to the quiet screamings within before those screamings are silenced. I need to learn to love.
Today, my relief society president taught me that there are still people truly called of God in this church--she is one of them. I don't completely remember much of what was said through her tears, but I do remember feeling the unconditional love that is said to be given to those in these callings. I realized that through God, this early 20's girl was able to see us all for what and who we are--daughters of God--and sincerely cared about each of us. How did I know this? First of all, she was crying as her first councilor bore her testimony to us before the president even got up to speak with us. Second of all, there was a stirring in my heart that was different than what I have felt in quite a while--something confirming to me that this woman is here by God and through God is willing to take me in to feel her love.
And what's sad is, I was afraid to admit this in relief society because if I had, I would have cried like my more-sensitive sister. This withholding made me realize that there may be something missing in me that I need to change. I need to be more accepting and open to the smaller, more precious things in life. I need to listen to the quiet screamings within before those screamings are silenced. I need to learn to love.
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