I'm so tired of being here.

I'm standing at the shore,
Looking out at the murky sky.
Numb memories tickle the back of my mind,
While the sea tickles my ankles,
Making me warm,
Making me cold.
I'm forced into silence,
As the air is suffocating--
Intoxicating, torturous.
I struggle with the need to release
All of this emotion
Versus the need to quiet
All of this emotion.
Something says your name in my ear
And somewhere in the distance,
A whistle blows
And I'm on my knees, again
Struggling to breathe as the tide rolls in
And I find myself wishing
That the sea and sand never existed
That I really am crazy
That all the world would fade to black
That you could simply remain a memory.