Because I love calling myself out...part 2
I have a big suppression problem. Huge. In my mind, I always think that I can let loose and enjoy my surroundings; but when it comes down to actually letting loose and having fun, it never happens for me. Because I'm scared of what people will think of me...for some odd reason. I choose not to enjoy myself because I'm afraid of getting weird looks, or I'm afraid that people will view me as an attention seeker.
I need to learn to not give a damn. I have so much of me suppressed from the public because I'm afraid of what people might say. This attitude is completely uncalled-for. There will always be people who dislike those who don't have a problem letting loose. I can't fight that; but that doesn't mean I should let them be the oppressors of my life. I need to learn how to be the person who enjoys herself as she is and doesn't try to hide it from anybody.
I think this is key in nixing self loathing. Because every negative emotion that we feel is powered by fear; and if we're always afraid, we're more prone to hate.
So, how am I going to fix this glitch in my system? I'm going to laugh when I feel like laughing. I'm going to dance when I feel like dancing. I'm going to smile and speak my mind as much as I can. I'm going to compete for attention--but in a gentle, non-threatening way. I'm going to eat at a restaurant alone and not look around feeling like everyone's watching me. I'm going to take walks around town alone and enjoy the quiet whisperings of my own voice in my head. I'm going to compliment people when I feel the need to compliment them. I'm going to help people who need the help.
I'm going to step out of my comfort zone and do something crazy and in the moment. I'm going to breathe life in and then exhale life back into others. This is how life should be. Let's see how I do...
I need to learn to not give a damn. I have so much of me suppressed from the public because I'm afraid of what people might say. This attitude is completely uncalled-for. There will always be people who dislike those who don't have a problem letting loose. I can't fight that; but that doesn't mean I should let them be the oppressors of my life. I need to learn how to be the person who enjoys herself as she is and doesn't try to hide it from anybody.
I think this is key in nixing self loathing. Because every negative emotion that we feel is powered by fear; and if we're always afraid, we're more prone to hate.
So, how am I going to fix this glitch in my system? I'm going to laugh when I feel like laughing. I'm going to dance when I feel like dancing. I'm going to smile and speak my mind as much as I can. I'm going to compete for attention--but in a gentle, non-threatening way. I'm going to eat at a restaurant alone and not look around feeling like everyone's watching me. I'm going to take walks around town alone and enjoy the quiet whisperings of my own voice in my head. I'm going to compliment people when I feel the need to compliment them. I'm going to help people who need the help.
I'm going to step out of my comfort zone and do something crazy and in the moment. I'm going to breathe life in and then exhale life back into others. This is how life should be. Let's see how I do...
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