Get back.
So...I'm dealing once more with the idea of dating someone...anyone, really. I have this constant conflict inside me between seeking relationships and remaining alone. I'm afraid I can't offer what's almost required. At the same time, I want to jump into a new adventure. It's about time. But there's that one little detail that always holds me back. A deep fear that I can't let go despite my want for companionship and ultimately love. I don't want to sound like a freak, but love has such strength in my spectrum of emotions that I have a hard time ignoring when it's an option in my life. In the end, it's quite exhausting, and I wish I could just give it up. Nevertheless, it seems it have its own life within me, seeing as every time I try to stifle it, it claws it's way back to life even to the last breath. But there never is a last breath because it seems like, just at that moment, I find someone to revive it. It's currently the most frustrating part of my life.
Anyway...now that I have that all good and vented, I must report on my sister's wedding. Katrina got married a few weeks ago! I was very skeptical, even to the bitter end. I felt that their relationship and engagement were too short for it to be a developed enough relationship to make a decision as serious as marriage. Nevertheless, once the big day arrived, I found myself relieved and happy. His family was wonderful and, upon getting to know him better, I found her groom truly is deserving of her. It's been fantastic getting to know him through all these adventures--both in Missouri (my homeland) and California (his homeland). Both receptions were great and beautifully executed. Katrina, as ever, was stunning. She made me want to cry every time I saw her!
Also, I recently turned 25! I'm never very excited for my birthday (this year was no different) because I can never think of a good way to celebrate it and I never have many friends to celebrate with (if any, like this year). Regardless, my aunt, sister, and brother in law showed up at Kazumi's (where I waitress) and had sushi with me as my birthday dinner (couldn't ask for anything better). After work, we had cake that my aunt had baked. They even had me blow out candles after singing happy birthday to me (I got my wish!). Beyond that, my birthday was like any other day...like it is every year. I should just all out ignore it next year. I won't be bugged.
This was more of an update/journal post. I apologize to any readers who don't enjoy these types of posts. Sometimes, I just need to unload in a place I know I can, though. Have a good evening.
Anyway...now that I have that all good and vented, I must report on my sister's wedding. Katrina got married a few weeks ago! I was very skeptical, even to the bitter end. I felt that their relationship and engagement were too short for it to be a developed enough relationship to make a decision as serious as marriage. Nevertheless, once the big day arrived, I found myself relieved and happy. His family was wonderful and, upon getting to know him better, I found her groom truly is deserving of her. It's been fantastic getting to know him through all these adventures--both in Missouri (my homeland) and California (his homeland). Both receptions were great and beautifully executed. Katrina, as ever, was stunning. She made me want to cry every time I saw her!
Also, I recently turned 25! I'm never very excited for my birthday (this year was no different) because I can never think of a good way to celebrate it and I never have many friends to celebrate with (if any, like this year). Regardless, my aunt, sister, and brother in law showed up at Kazumi's (where I waitress) and had sushi with me as my birthday dinner (couldn't ask for anything better). After work, we had cake that my aunt had baked. They even had me blow out candles after singing happy birthday to me (I got my wish!). Beyond that, my birthday was like any other day...like it is every year. I should just all out ignore it next year. I won't be bugged.
This was more of an update/journal post. I apologize to any readers who don't enjoy these types of posts. Sometimes, I just need to unload in a place I know I can, though. Have a good evening.
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