On Mormons and sex: To the parents.
I don't want to seem like a nagging anti-Mormon, but I have to put this out there in hopes that a few Mormons will read this and understand the necessity that requires action.
My topic today is on sex, and the fact that Mormons don't like to talk about it. What they don't think about, though, is the way that not talking about it is potentially tearing your family apart. Let me explain.
I grew up Mormon, and until the past couple of years, I was scared to death of the topic of sex. It wasn't fear of sex itself--more shame out of interest--but it was more fear of the unknown. In an LDS teenager's life, the only things people tell you about sex is not to do it, especially not masturbation. They never give a reason why, just a warning to never do it.
Come, now, parents. You used to be teenagers at some point. You must know that there are very powerful urges during that time in our lives. And you expect your youth to just take your word for it? Honestly--and every human being should know this--it's hard to feel bad about disappointing your parents or God when you're horny as hell and you have a willing partner with you.
Mormonism is a faith of action, which means that parents within the faith really need to take action on this. I'm not saying this as any form of authority (heaven knows no women have any real authority in the church), I'm saying this as a frustrated young adult who's had to deal with unanswered awkwardness her entire adolescence and into her young adult years because nobody has bothered telling her anything.
And it's the blind leading the blind, as well. I used to talk about sex with my roommates in as much depth as we could. None of us ever knew anything unless one of us had "slipped up" and had actually done the deed. This is not a good way for a young person to learn about sex; don't you agree, parents?
Let me address how this hush-hush attitude can break your family up. Take a normal LDS youth who is, of course, curious about this topic because of all the new hormones. They're taught that it's bad (but not given any reason), and they're given the feeling that family will (close to) disown them if they ever became a...practitioner of such activities. But the feelings are powerful enough and the pros outweigh the cons (because they weren't given any real cons), so they decided to go for it. Next thing you know, your family has alienated you for something you didn't understand fully why it was wrong. Or, even worse, someone gets pregnant; and the family is so appalled and embarrassed, they hardly want to help or even address the matter--still!
Do you see the problem here?
Do you see the problem here?
Teenagers are the most curious people. They're finding themselves out: they're trying to understand their emotions and their bodies. It's only hurting them to keep them in the dark about the one thing they're thinking of doing on their weekends. Educate your children. We're taught in the church that knowledge is the most important thing to gain on this earth, so why aren't we applying that as a weapon against sex. Darkness never was able to give light; so why don't we shed light on this situation in order to take some stress and worrying out of our lives?
My topic today is on sex, and the fact that Mormons don't like to talk about it. What they don't think about, though, is the way that not talking about it is potentially tearing your family apart. Let me explain.
I grew up Mormon, and until the past couple of years, I was scared to death of the topic of sex. It wasn't fear of sex itself--more shame out of interest--but it was more fear of the unknown. In an LDS teenager's life, the only things people tell you about sex is not to do it, especially not masturbation. They never give a reason why, just a warning to never do it.
Come, now, parents. You used to be teenagers at some point. You must know that there are very powerful urges during that time in our lives. And you expect your youth to just take your word for it? Honestly--and every human being should know this--it's hard to feel bad about disappointing your parents or God when you're horny as hell and you have a willing partner with you.
Mormonism is a faith of action, which means that parents within the faith really need to take action on this. I'm not saying this as any form of authority (heaven knows no women have any real authority in the church), I'm saying this as a frustrated young adult who's had to deal with unanswered awkwardness her entire adolescence and into her young adult years because nobody has bothered telling her anything.
And it's the blind leading the blind, as well. I used to talk about sex with my roommates in as much depth as we could. None of us ever knew anything unless one of us had "slipped up" and had actually done the deed. This is not a good way for a young person to learn about sex; don't you agree, parents?
Let me address how this hush-hush attitude can break your family up. Take a normal LDS youth who is, of course, curious about this topic because of all the new hormones. They're taught that it's bad (but not given any reason), and they're given the feeling that family will (close to) disown them if they ever became a...practitioner of such activities. But the feelings are powerful enough and the pros outweigh the cons (because they weren't given any real cons), so they decided to go for it. Next thing you know, your family has alienated you for something you didn't understand fully why it was wrong. Or, even worse, someone gets pregnant; and the family is so appalled and embarrassed, they hardly want to help or even address the matter--still!
Do you see the problem here?
Do you see the problem here?
Teenagers are the most curious people. They're finding themselves out: they're trying to understand their emotions and their bodies. It's only hurting them to keep them in the dark about the one thing they're thinking of doing on their weekends. Educate your children. We're taught in the church that knowledge is the most important thing to gain on this earth, so why aren't we applying that as a weapon against sex. Darkness never was able to give light; so why don't we shed light on this situation in order to take some stress and worrying out of our lives?
I have seen the church's Hush Hush attitude regarding sexual interaction cause a lot of problems for people. I definitely agree with you, It is a topic they should address within their community.
ReplyDeleteThis is something that needs to be discussed. I was lucky enough to have parents and seminary teachers who weren't uncomfortable talking to me about it and teaching me the WHYs behind the THOU SHALT NOT. A lot of LDS kids aren't that lucky.
ReplyDelete