Of Depression

Ok. Here's the deal. Here's the low down. This is the lesson to be learned. The lesson is about depression and how to help those around you who are dealing with it.

As you've most likely noticed from this blog, I've dealt with my fair share of depression and all those shitty emotions (and physical aches) that come with it. I used to be medicated for this illness, but I had to take myself off of it; so, now, I just roll with the punches and hope for the best. Lately, though, something's been pissing me off. I've noticed--both online and off...line--that some people just don't know how to handle people like me when we're having one of our bad days, and those days are when we need that support and comfort more than anything. So, I thought I'd write out a few suggestions for those lucky enough not to have depression so they understand a little better and, therefore, make things a little less awkward next time around.

Let's get to it: first of all, do not try to fix me. Don't be my shrink in this moment. When a wave of depression has hit me, I don't want a shrink, I want a friend. For me, when that sadness hits, I'm not thinking logically at all; so logic is not going to get me out of that funk. Most importantly (big no-no): do not ask, "What's wrong?" Fuck that shit, my friends. When you have depression, it's not that something is wrong; it's just a weird chemical imbalance in my brain that makes me sad sometimes. Some days, I'm better at controlling it than others; but that doesn't mean that something's particularly bugging me when I lose that control.

Second: depression is often coupled with anxiety. For me, if I get even slightly stressed while depressed, that only magnetizes the sadness...and sometimes triggers a panic attack. So, if you see this happening to me or anyone else, distractions are your friend. You don't have to acknowledge what you see; just put on a good movie or funny Youtube video or take me on an adventure. Just distract me for a little while, and I'll start feeling better. I'm not saying that you have to do anything crazy or extravagant, just something that will keep me from dwelling on whatever's stressing me out or making me sad.

Third: don't treat me any differently than you normally would. It makes me feel patronized when I'm suddenly being coddled because I've shown a hint of sadness on my face. For me, it's better if you act like nothing's wrong because that tricks me into thinking the same thing. Coddling enables me, blocking me from being able to move forward from those emotions. Talk and laugh as you normally would; and, soon, I will be following suit.

Alright, those are the major points I wanted to get out there. If you have any additional comments, feel free to let me know. I can only write from personal experience, so it helps to hear the experiences of others. I hope this has been helpful!