You look like you've seen a ghost.

This will be a poetry blog: a before poem and an after poem. Both about the same man.

Silent tension pulls at the still air as our eyes meet

The twitch in the pleasure center of my brain gives me emotion

The emotion is delicious, and I pull at it

Like it’s a drag from a cigarette

My new drug, my new delightful drug

Skin to skin contact creates vibrations –

Shivers up my spine and butterflies in the stomach

I almost feel sick, but I’m too happy to be sick

Insecurities are a threat, but not a concern

I’m everywhere, but nowhere all at once

As I sit here

And contemplate

You.

It was a night

Of

Confusion

Blistering

Painful

I didn’t want to be there

I couldn’t drink

But his fishy desires

Had the best

Of him

He was busy

I was bored

Sitting beside a friend

Of a friend

Barely speaking

He was angry

Sarcastic

We made friends quickly

But the fish had disappeared

My mind settled

Upon innocence

I was boring this night

Of course

He

Didn’t

Want

To

Be

With

Me.

No.

But it was worse

The torment, the hatred, the blood

The bitch

She smiled at me

And told me her name

Everyone hung

On her

Every.

Word.

One of those girls.

The fish was entranced

Taken

Dead.

The fish and the bitch

Left

Leaving me cold

And wondering

When they’d be back

Naivety took over

(my defense

Mechanism)

Telling myself that

“He’ll be back…He’ll be back”

When’s he coming back?

And he was gone

Just a

Ghost

A shadow in my world of

Darkness

A piece of light must

Have reflected him

Away

Gone.

And the

Tears

Never stop.

The hole in my

Chest

Is wide

And throbbing with

Desire

To

Stop Time.